Community Code of Conduct

Last updated: 4 October 2026. Version 1.0.

IRL exists to give people more reasons to be out together and to make a new city feel like home. That only works if everyone feels safe and welcome. This Code of Conduct applies to everyone in IRL spaces, and it forms part of our Event Terms.

1. What we expect, and where this applies

1.1 Our principles

Respect everyone. People come to IRL to meet others. Be friendly, be kind, and treat everyone as you'd want to be treated.
No means no. Whether it's a conversation, a dance, a drink, a photo or a phone number, take no, a non-answer, or someone walking away as no.
Everyone is welcome. We don't tolerate discrimination or abuse because of anyone's age, disability, gender, gender identity, marriage or civil partnership, pregnancy, race, ethnicity, nationality, religion or belief, sex or sexual orientation, or any other part of who they are.
Look out for each other. If someone seems unwell, unsafe or out of their depth, tell a member of the IRL team or Venue staff.
Respect the people working. Our team, subcontractors and Venue staff deserve the same respect as everyone else.

1.2 Where this applies

This Code applies to:

all IRL events under any of our brands, including arrival, queues, smoking areas, and any part of the Venue we're using;
travel between venues on pub crawls or multi-venue events we organise, and official afterparties;
our WhatsApp channel, groups and communities, our Instagram and other social media, our Meetup group, and messages with our team;
interactions with our team, subcontractors, volunteers and Venue staff; and
behaviour outside our spaces that affects the safety of people in our community, such as harassing someone you met at an IRL event, or a match from an Date IRL event.

1.3 Who this applies to

Everyone: attendees, guests, members of our channels and groups, our own team, subcontractors, performers, partners, sponsors, traders and Venue staff.

2. At events

2.1 Never acceptable

These will lead to removal from the event without a refund, and usually a ban:

Harassment: unwanted comments, attention, following someone, repeatedly approaching someone who has said no or moved away, or intimidating anyone.
Sexual harassment and assault: any unwanted touching, groping, kissing, sexual comments, gestures or propositions, or exposing yourself.
Spiking: putting alcohol, drugs or any other substance into someone's drink or body without their knowledge, by any method. This is a criminal offence. We will always involve the police.
Violence and threats: hitting, pushing, fighting, threatening anyone, or carrying a weapon.
Discrimination and hate: abuse, slurs, jokes or behaviour targeting anyone because of who they are.
Filming or photographing without consent in the ways our Photography and Filming Policy prohibits, including any intimate image.
Drugs: possessing, using or supplying illegal drugs.
Theft or deliberate damage.
Abusing staff: abuse, threats or harassment of our team, subcontractors or Venue staff.
Lying about who you are to get into an event or to deceive people you meet, including your age, or whether you're single at Date IRL events.

2.2 Not on, and may lead to removal

being so drunk that you're a risk to yourself or others, or ignoring staff who ask you to slow down;
ignoring instructions from our team, Venue staff or security;
selling, promoting a business, recruiting, or handing out flyers without our permission;
pressuring anyone for their phone number, social media or a date;
persistent behaviour that makes others uncomfortable, even after a warning.

2.3 At Date IRL events

Respect a no, a pass, or someone choosing not to match. Don't ask why.
Don't ask for contact details during the event. The matching process exists so that people only share details when both want to.
Don't share anything about the people you meet: names, photos, descriptions or screenshots of matches.
Be honest about yourself, including your age and that you're single.
No sexual content, explicit comments or touching without clear consent.

Consent means a clear, freely given yes. It can be withdrawn at any time. Someone who is very drunk, asleep or unconscious cannot consent. If you're not sure, ask, and if you're still not sure, don't.

2.5 Looking after yourself and each other

Keep your drink with you, and don't accept drinks from people you don't know unless you watch them being poured.
If you feel unexpectedly drunk, dizzy, confused or unwell, tell our team or Venue staff immediately. You won't be in trouble.
If you see something that doesn't look right, tell our team, Venue staff or security. You can do this discreetly.
To find an IRL team member, ask Venue staff or security. Where a Venue takes part in Ask for Angela, you can ask for Angela at the bar to get discreet help.
In an emergency, call 999.

2.6 Respect for our team, subcontractors and Venue staff

We have a legal duty to take all reasonable steps to protect the people who work at our events from harassment, including harassment by attendees, and we take it seriously. Anyone who harasses or abuses staff will be removed, may be banned, and may be reported to the police.

3. Online: WhatsApp, Instagram and other channels

3.1 Our WhatsApp channel

The channel is for announcements from IRL. Follower details are hidden, so please don't try to identify or contact other followers through it, and don't repost our announcements with false or altered information.

3.2 WhatsApp groups and communities we run

Be respectful. The rules in section 2 apply here too.
Don't add anyone without their permission. Their phone number will be visible to the group.
Don't share anyone's personal details, phone number, photos or screenshots of their messages outside the group without their permission.
Don't message group members privately if they haven't invited it, and stop immediately if they ask you to.
No spam, selling, promotion, chain messages, or links to unrelated groups.
No sexual, violent, hateful or illegal content.
Keep to the group's topic, and follow admins' instructions.

Admins may delete messages and remove members who break these rules, and may keep a record of serious breaches.

Comments and messages must follow this Code. We hide or delete comments that are abusive, discriminatory, spam, or reveal someone's private information, and we may block accounts.
Don't use our comments or tags to contact, harass or expose people you've seen in our content.
Don't post content from our events that breaks our Photography and Filming Policy.

3.4 Scams and impersonation

We only sell tickets through our website, Fixr, Eventbrite, Meetup, or at the door. We will never ask you to pay for a ticket by bank transfer through a direct message, unless you've agreed a group or business booking with us and received an invoice from team@irloxford.co.uk.
Don't pretend to be IRL, our team or our brands, or sell fake or resold tickets.
If someone contacts you claiming to be from IRL and something feels wrong, check with us on 07376 715840 or team@irloxford.co.uk before you pay or share anything, and report the account to the platform.

4. Reporting, what we do, bans and appeals

4.1 How to report something

At an event: tell any IRL team member, Venue staff or security. You can do this discreetly.
After an event or online: WhatsApp 07376 715840 or email team@irloxford.co.uk with the subject "Report". You can ask us to keep your name confidential.
In an emergency: call 999 first.

You can report something that happened to you, or something you saw.

4.2 What happens when you report

We listen and support you. We'll ask what happened and what you'd like to happen next. We'll tell you about support options, such as Rape Crisis, Victim Support or the police, if relevant.
We keep it confidential. We share your report only with the people who need to know to deal with it. We won't name you to the person you've reported without your permission, unless the law requires it.
We act proportionately. Depending on what happened, we may speak to the people involved and any witnesses, check with the Venue, and look at any available evidence.
We record what happened. We keep a factual record as described in our Privacy Policy.
We tell you the outcome where we can, though we may not be able to share every detail about action taken against someone else.

We'll always help you report to the police if you want to. Where someone may be at serious risk, or a crime such as spiking or sexual assault may have occurred, we may contact the police ourselves, and we'll tell you if we do.

4.3 What we may do

Depending on how serious it is, and whether it has happened before, we may:

give a warning;
remove someone from an event without a refund;
remove someone from our WhatsApp groups or block them on social media;
cancel bookings and refund them;
issue a temporary or permanent ban from all IRL events and channels, under every brand;
tell the Venue where the incident happened, if it's needed for safety at that Venue or for its licence;
report to the police, and give them information and evidence they request lawfully; and
where a ban relates to serious safety risks, share limited information with partner venues so they can keep people safe, but only where it is lawful, necessary and proportionate, and only the minimum needed.

We can act even if the behaviour happened outside an event, where it affects the safety of people in our community.

4.4 If you've been banned or removed

We'll normally tell you that you've been banned, how long for, and why, unless doing so would put someone at risk or interfere with a police investigation. You can appeal by emailing team@irloxford.co.uk within 14 days, explaining why you think the decision is wrong. Someone who wasn't involved in the original decision will review it and reply within 30 days. Their decision is final. If you try to attend an event while banned, you'll be refused entry or removed without a refund.

4.5 False reports

Making a report you know to be false, to harm someone, is itself a serious breach of this Code.

4.6 Changes to this Code

We may update this Code. The latest version is always on our website.